Breaking up is not easy. In fact breaking up is not even the worst part of
a relationship; getting over your ex-partner and moving on is. The
heartbreak and the feeling of rejection – they fill the heart with an
overwhelming amount of sorrow and forces you to see them one more
time. While the heart aches for their love and the body longs for their
touch, staying as friends is one thing that most people try to do. BUT is it
really a good option? Let’s find out.
1. Your Ex Gets You
It is true, your ex knows you inside and out. You were together for a long time
so they will know you in ways that even your closest friends and family don’t.
They know exactly what makes you tick and all of your little quirks.They know how to ease your frustrations after hard day at work. Even if you enjoy a busy social life this does not mean that everyone knows your true self. The truth is only a few select people know the “real you” your ex being one of them, so this familiarity may seem attractive to keep by your side.
2. Emotional Support in Times of Need
In traumatic times, let’s say a death in the family, you may seek comfort in you ex as they will know the situation just like you do. Your ex knows your family circumstances and your circle of friends better than anyone so naturally in times of need they will be able to provide great emotional support. Everyone needs that someone who can take care and understands the emotional side of us. The question still remains if this dependency is truly healthy.
3. You May Get to See a Different Side
Now that this person isn’t your partner you can get to observe them in a different light. You will no longer need to cater to each others needs in a way that was previously required. You are only friends now and hence; you can
avoid any subjects that used to cause conflict.
4. You Can’t Build that Trust Again
As with with all relationships, friendship also requires trust. In that case, if you do stay as friends then the lack of trust you once had as a couple will still remain. The fear of breaking this trust will always create an an unwelcome atmosphere. The dilemma is you could potentially become friends with the exact same issues as you had as a couple.
5. It Will Resist You From Being Open to New Relationships
It is obvious that if you stay friends with your ex then you will not be able to entertain new people who may want to come in your life. You will inevitably compare “the old with the new” as making comparisons is human nature. Keep one thing in mind that it didn’t work out between you both for a reason and that is why it’s better to move on without your ex. When one door closes another door opens.
6. ON and OFF Relationships are Not Healthy
If you do remain as friends then the potential of having an “on and off” relationship is high. Most of these types of relationships are destined for failure as the same mistakes are repeated, the same arguments arise and before you know it you are back to square one. The truth is these kinds of relationships usually end for good.
7. Staying friends Won’t Make the Break Up Easier
If you are not fully over your partner then staying friends with them is only going to prolong your heartache. In reality, you will be hearing and speaking to the same person whom you once loved the most. The chances are you might be invited to socialise with them and their new partner; are you ready for that? If your not then cut all ties, for the time being at least. Be strong and move on.
8. Once an Ex, Always an EX
Even if you have been successful in remaining good friends, you will never be able to to shake off the label “ex girlfriend/boyfriend”. If you socialize with people you will always be referred to by this label which can change the way the group sees you. You are no longer just you, you are the ex!
9. Hanging Out as Friends Will be Traumatic
Let’s suppose you both are out; you are grabbing dinner and suddenly your ex does something sweet and you feel like hugging them tight but ask yourself should you really be doing that? A passionate embrace is not something you would normally do with just a friend however it is difficult to turn off those feeling because they feel so familiar. Whereas if you had been with on a date, you could have hugged them without a second thought and this might have started new era of love for you.
10. Is it Necessary?
After all is said and done ask yourself this; do you really need this person as a friend? You have friends already, real friends, who have been there for you. If you want you can create new friendships; activate all your social media accounts which you might have previously neglected or reach out to old friends you’ve lost contact with. Realize that you broke up with your ex partner because in the end there was nothing more to learn or gain from one another. Something was missing; perhaps one day the flame you once shared will reignite however hanging on as friends is not going to encourage it. You are going to need to rebuild the trust all over again. Do you really think this trust will magically come back once you label them as your ‘new best friend?” In the end; if either of you haven’t completely moved on then it isn’t even a real friendship and all you are doing is prolonging the inevitable truth; that it is over.
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